Until I became pregnant with Reagan I did not truly understand what it meant to "Walk in Faith". In fact I was almost devoid of the faith I had so openly proclaimed to have. I was weak in my personal relationships and extremely fearful.
For many years prior to getting pregnant I prayed that I would have an opportunity to be a mother. I have dreamed of it from the time I was very young. When my father passed away I felt like those dreams may have been taken away from me. The other day during an anxiety attack full of worry and complaint I had to revisit the prayers I had said previously.
These prayers consisted of appeals to have children, to have an opportunity to see what my own biological children would look like and to be given the opportunity to have a family with the man that I love. The Lord has given me the opportunity - I am pregnant and I find myself fearful and full of complaint.
I ask for forgiveness for this from the Lord and my family and friends. I am very blessed and must walk in the understanding that there is a plan for this child. As of late I have allowed my fears to change my attitude and even create physical ailments. I have decided to live out the rest of this pregnancy in faith and to not allow my fear to rule over my life. I had no idea how difficult it is to relinquish my thoughts and daily life to the Lord.
If you would like I would love it if you would continue praying for my family and myself. Thank You for all of your support and prayer up until now! We are currently in our 29th week!